In our previous conceptual model of the female mind we introduced the concept of the primitive mind. (I really should have called it the instinctive mind but the thought didn't come to me at the time) Now in some cases of Post Natal Depression it would appear the source of stress that leads to depression arises from the Primitive Mind. Now the Primitive Mind is primarily concerned with the direct mother child relationship and stress arises when their is an absence of positive feelings towards the baby. Now in some instances, it would appear that the bonding difficulty is due to factors concerned with the child, i.e. the child is difficult, sick etc. so that the interactions with the mother generate negative feelings. On the other hand, the child may be perfectly fine but the mother remains indifferent to the interaction.
As mentioned previously, insights into the mechanism of Post Natal Depression may lead us to a better understanding of adult relationships.
If we assume that there is such a thing as a maternal instinct, then its activation is contingent on the presence of a baby. The neuro-sensory experience of a child must in some way stimulate the activation of this instnict. Conceptually, we can then posit the existence of a "maternal instinct" receptor which activates baby friendly and bonding behaviours when stimulated, and inhibits them when not. It would appear then that in some cases of Post Natal Depression, the baby fails to activate this receptor and bonding behaviour fails. In some instances the baby's behaviour may actually repel the mother and in other instances, the mother may have a less sensitive or absent receptor so the presence of a baby fails to elicit the response.
Just as we can posit the existence of a maternal receptor with respect to a baby, we can also posit the existence of a receptor which activates the mating instinct in adults. In females that receptor is the Alpha Receptor: Stimulation of this receptor leads to mating behaviours. And just as babies can elicit behaviours which repel the mother, likewise adults can display behaviours which positively inhibit the mating response. Conceptually, this would be akin to stimulating an Omega Receptor.
Like the maternal instinct, a lot of the sexual instinct is "hard wired" and has a genetic basis to it. Evolutionists would probably put forward the theory that this hard wiring is the result of genetic selection to ensure survival of the species, as a Catholic, I think it's God's way of putting limits on human stupidity. The bottom line is that the behavioural stimuli that elicit the sexual response are pre-determined.
It's important to note that there may be a significant degree of variation in the sensitivity of this receptor. Some women may be more sensitive than others and subtle displays of masculinity may be enough for some whilst other women probably need much more aggressive displays of male behaviour. ( I think that this is linked to a woman's temperament/personality)
That's not to say that culture can't influence it. As mentioned previously, women's thinking tends to be more intergrative than men's, social and learned(rational) expectations also have a influence on her state of mind, but if her alpha receptor is not stimulated sexual desire will be absent. Behaviour's that stimulate the receptor are behaviours possessed by Alpha males such as dominance, social confidence, muscularity, appearance and strong central locus of control. On the other hand, Omega stimulants are poor physical health and appearance, indecisiveness, submissiveness and poor self confidence.
I inadvertently tend to do a lot of marriage counseling and am privy to the failings of many marriages. I most fear for a marriage not when the husband cheats on or beats his wife, but when the wife begins to view her relationship with her husband as that of a brother i.e the sexual dimension of the relationship is extinguished. The men in these relationships frequently display behaviours which are ideal from a feminist point of view and in fact, the lack of sexual attraction that many of these women feel towards their men is as much a mystery to them as it is to their spouses.
Due to the pervasive influence of Feminism, Romantic Traditionalism and a watered down Christianity on culture, many men have conditioned themselves to behave in a way towards women that fails to stimulate their alpha receptors, the net result being that many of these women feel no or little sexual desire towards their husbands.
A note on the Beta Male. Beta Males neither stimulate alpha or omega receptors. Their affect on libido in neutral and that's why women view relationships with such men positively as platonic friendships. However, since romantic relationships are ultimately sexual, Beta males are not seen as sexual mates.
Very good article. Try as they will, feminists will never erase human nature. Most women don't want wishy-washy, passionless, bland men as potential relationships.
ReplyDeleteIn regard to your other posts on the maternal instinct, or lack thereof in some women, have you considered the crucial role that the hormone oxytocin plays in the bond that the mother forms with her baby in the very beginning?
ReplyDeleteCould it be that the mothers you wrote about produced an insufficient amount of oxytocin during labor and delivery perhaps due to having a C-section rather than a vaginal birth or an epidoral for pain? Both procedures appear to interfere with the body's production of oxytocin. Also if these mothers who found it difficult to bond with their infant were not breastfeeding this would have added to the problem, because breastfeeding encourages the production of oxytocin.
Experiments have been done with other mammals regarding oxytocin and the maternal instinct. When the mother rat, for instance, is deprived of this hormone, she will not see after her pups.
This hormone fascinates me. Under its influence a person is more generous, more trusting, more cuddly, more empathetic. A person is more able to accurately read social cues. It is a promising treatment for conditions like autism.
It appears responsible for bonding that takes place not only between mother and child, but also between man and woman and in other relationships. Men produce it too, but not nearly as much as women it seems. And perhaps their brains do not respond to it in quite the same way as well.
Women produce quite a bit of it during pregnancy, labor, delivery, while breastfeeding, and during sexual intercourse. I think it goes a long way toward explaining the natural internal world of a woman and how it may contribute to her softness.
What do you think about oxytocin?
Regarding the alpha male verses the beta male, is it possible that the beta male has more oxytocin in his system for some reason? When oxytocin has been administered to men in experiments, they become more like women and are able to cry while watching a heartbreaking movie for instance.
Also, as men age and produce less testosterone, they seem to be influenced more by the oxytocin they produce. Could this explain why grandfathers are likely to be more loving and cuddly toward their grandchildren than they were toward their own children? Just a thought.
What do you think about oxytocin?
ReplyDeleteHi Susan, thanks for commenting.
I'm not a neurochemist but undoubtedly hormones play an affect in the bonding process. However I think their effect is overstated in most cases. But you do raise a valid point. Perhaps the variance we see in the bonding of children to mothers may rest on some biochemical basis which may include oxytocin. The question then is, is this variance normal or a pathology?
The fact that Game can transform willing betas into Alphas (Neil Strauss) would seem to suggest that cognitive habits and learned behaviours contribute more to their mating ineptitude rather than genetic deficiencies in hormones or superabundance of them. I personally feel that genetic variance in hormone quantity or sensitivity may explain a lot of temperament which in turn influences behaviour.
I wish women did prefer nice, submissive type of men. I believe it would be a near utopia. There would be less social problems. Domestic violence would go down to zero. Children would be raised by two parents instead of single mothers. It's the primitive taste women have for men that is the root cause for everything that's wrong in this world.
ReplyDeleteJay,
ReplyDeleteCome on. Women's instincts aren't the cause of everything wrong in the world. There are lots of other problems.
Women are messing up our society but they aren't the only problem
Jay:
ReplyDeleteI wish women did prefer nice, submissive type of men. I believe it would be a near utopia. There would be less social problems. Domestic violence would go down to zero.
Disagree with you Jay. The Good Lord put aggression into men for a reason. Sometimes you've just gotta fight, like it or not. Civilisation in many ways insulates us from the reality of the natural world. Animals kill humans, humans fight each other and as Orwell said, most of the genteel sleep well at night because rough men are ready to visit violence on those who wish us harm.
The great speech by Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men hit the truth:
Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
It's a rough world out there. Someones gotta face it.